The Worst Supper of All Time.

My eyes are burning. My ego is hurt. And the chicken is burnt.

This is what happens when you choose the "Conventional Roast" option on your oven as opposed to your standard "Bake."

Oh, how clever I felt pressing that special button!

I'm roasting a chicken. How perfect! I thought. Plus, this feature comes with an animated fan icon. Very fun.

I was nothing but confident as I slid that chicken into the preheated oven. 

Off I went to my writer's nook, smug as can be.

Twenty minutes later, Adam arrived home from work.

"Dinner is in the oven!" I announced triumphantly. "And I watered the tomatoes."

No praise or appreciation was given.

Instead, alarm was washing over Adam's face. 

"What's burning?" he asked, his nose prickling before rushing into the kitchen, which had begun to fill with smoke. 

He pulled open the oven door and whoooosh! Smoke everywhere!

Everywhere! 

My eyes were burning and tears were streaming down my face. The smoke alarm was going off. The dogs where whining and looking at us with eyes that said, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO US???"

And despite the fact that the kitchen had turned into Jenna's Inferno, the chicken was still not done.

So after correcting the baking setting, that poor guy had to go right back inside the oven. And so did the croutons for the panzanella salad.

Needless to say, neither fared well. 

Each time I opened the oven door to check on them, MORE SMOKE, MORE BURNING EYES, MORE HORRIBLE BEEPING FROM THE SMOKE ALARM. I opened all of the windows (our poor neighbors!). I danced around the kitchen with a broom to shoo the smoke away. It was quite the workout. 

"This is the worst supper of all time," I declared.

By the time we plated our meal, things actually didn't look so bad. 

I mean, look at the dogs—they clearly thought the food was still worthy of begging. 

Luckily, this tale has a happy ending as Lowe's delivered a new gas range earlier this afternoon, which we truly hope will be less finicky than the electric one we inherited with our new home.

Now we just need a gas line installed.

Until then, no more "Conventional Roasting" for me.